MORGAN MILE MANOR MEAL PLAN 10.5.26 through 10.11.26
Because apparently we are responsible adults who must decide what the hell to eat EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Nobody warned me adulthood was 40% laundry and 60% figuring out dinner.
MONDAY - Grandpa Toast Has Entered the Chat
Grilled Ham & Cheese Sliders on Grandpa Toast + Curly Fries
Starting the week with tiny sandwiches because regular-sized sandwiches apparently weren’t bringing enough joy into this household. Also, curly fries are superior because potatoes taste better when they’ve been given a perm.
TUESDAY - Taco Tuesday, Because We Respect Tradition
Chicken Soft Tacos + Rice & Beans
An elegant evening of stuffing tacos entirely too full, taking one bite, and having half the contents fall directly onto the plate. Then eating the casualties with a fork like nothing happened.
WEDNESDAY - Absolutely No One Is Kissing Anyone Tonight
Sausage Parm Sandwiches on Garlic Bread + Salad
Yes. We are putting sausage parm ON GARLIC BREAD. This is the kind of innovation that should qualify us for government funding. The salad is there as a character witness.
THURSDAY - Morgan Mile Manor Goes International
Asian-Style Beef Bowls over Jasmine Rice + Chicken Egg Rolls
Look at us getting sophisticated on a Thursday. There will be beef. There will be jasmine rice. There will be egg rolls. There will also probably be one of us saying, “Do we have duck sauce?” after we’re already sitting down.
FRIDAY - WE HAVE SURVIVED. RELEASE THE PIZZA.
Pepperoni Pizza + Salad
Pizza Friday requires no explanation. We made it through five days of employment, responsibilities and other people’s bullshit. Bring forth the pepperoni. Again, salad is attending strictly for legal purposes.
SATURDAY - Come Get Your Cholesterol
Onion & Cheddar Burgers + Macaroni Salad + Tater Tots
Onions. Cheddar. Burgers. Macaroni salad. Tater tots. This meal has absolutely no interest in your wellness journey and frankly neither do we.
SUNDAY - SOUPER SUNDAY!
Cheddar Ale Soup + Jet’s Homemade Pretzels + Salad
Jet is making homemade pretzels, which means I will be hovering around the kitchen like a street orphan waiting for him to hand me one.
And cheddar ale soup?!?
Cheese. Beer. Bread.
THAT’S A FOOD PYRAMID WHERE I COME FROM!
The salad will once again be placed on the table so we can maintain the illusion that Morgan Mile Manor is a health-conscious establishment.
This week’s nutritional breakdown:
Cheese: Aggressive.
Carbohydrates: Unsupervised.
Salad: Trying its fucking best.
Jet: Cooking.
Me: Providing moral support and quality control.
The Shuggs: Has contributed nothing financially but remains extremely interested in the menu.
Bon appétit, bitches. We’ve got food at home.
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