The Recipe Index

Come Hungry. Leave Unbuttoning Your Pants.
 

Around here, we don't discriminate against food. Carbs are welcome. Butter is encouraged. Cheese is basically a personality trait. And if a recipe calls for two cloves of garlic, we're adding six because we don't need that kind of negativity in our lives.
 

You'll find everything from breakfast to dessert and all the Jesus Christ, these people want to eat AGAIN?! bullshit in between.
 

We've got authentic Italian recipes that taste like somebody's Gram has been guarding them since she stepped off the boat—and if you even think about putting sugar in her sauce, she will rise from the dead just to slap the wooden spoon out of your hand.
 

Then there's Jet's Asian fusion fuckery, where he casually throws seventeen things into a pan without measuring a damn thing and somehow produces a meal worthy of a restaurant while I'm standing six feet away eating shredded cheese over the sink and asking when dinner will be ready.
 

We've also got the American classics. Meat. Potatoes. Casseroles. Gravy. Things covered in cheese. Things covered in gravy. Things covered in cheese AND gravy because sometimes America really does get shit right.
 

There will be no foam.
 

There will be no microgreens strategically placed with fucking tweezers.
 

And there will absolutely NOT be a single tablespoon of sauce delicately swooshed across a plate like we're feeding a Victorian field mouse.
 

WE EAT HERE.
 

These are real recipes made by real people with questionable measuring techniques, inappropriate amounts of butter, enough garlic to violate several international treaties, and at least one person yelling "MOVE, I'M TRYING TO GET INTO THAT DRAWER."
 

If we made it once and nobody liked it?
 

You won't see that shit here.

But if somebody went back for thirds, ate it cold out of the refrigerator at midnight, or stood over the stove picking crispy pieces directly out of the pan while insisting they were "just cleaning up"...

WELCOME TO THE FUCKING RECIPE INDEX.
 

Basically, if it's "smack your grandma" good, you'll find it here.
 

Legal Disclaimer: Please do not actually smack Grandma. Grandma didn't survive dial-up internet, cigarette smoke in restaurants, and raising your mother just to get assaulted over lasagna. Fix her a plate, give her the good chair, and leave that woman the hell alone.